1st Step

After almost 2 months, I am back again to my very own room in my Eldest Brother’s apartment in Puchong. I still remember very clearly how I took things for granted the last time I was staying here. My 2010 was really rediculously rediculous now that I think back. No matter how i regretted the life of my 21^st year of being a human, I do hope I will remember how lifeless was I and make it a very painful reminder in my life.

            I have not done or read up anything regarding to what I am studying for the past 2 months, only to realize that I do have interest in it. Despite being interested, I am still having that fear in me. The fear that made me ran away from reality and responsibilities, the fear that made me doubt myself so so much is still in me. I don’t know if I am going to get rid of this fear anytime soon, but I do realized that I must face it even if it cost everything. In fact, I doesn’t really have anything to lose anymore, I’ve lost it all last year!

            What I’ve learn while I was in Taiwan earlier this year? I would say one of the things I’ve learnt was do not be afraid to take up responsibilities. Be original and just be confident of my own capabilities. Although it takes time to even believe in myself, but I am doing it. Reason for failing so many times? I guess that’s because I always taking things up on my own and when I feel helpless, I tried to seek my own answers which obviously is stupid to seek help from a helpless person.

            I have always been a solo person. Trying to be tough infront of everyone. I just hope I am making progress in changing myself. When I realized I wasn’t the tough person I was anymore who knows almost everything, I felt so light. In the end, being ordinary and simple is better =)